The Worst Days of My Existance, Dying Light
by the-forgotten-cullen-girl
Summary: The days of Bell's pregnancy, Edward is living in his own personal hell. He can do nothing to save her, he can only watch her die. His grief is more than he has ever thought possible. Bella is killing herself, and she's bring Edward along for the ride.
1. Preface

Disclaimer- Yah, yah, I know: I don't own Twilight…but oh, if I did…

This was an idea I got after reading the leaked-out Midnight Sun chapters. Edward's perspective is my absolute favorite, and so this is the entire middle portion of Breaking Dawn, originally written from Jacob's perspective, now in Edward's. The story will begin on the trip home from the honeymoon. Enjoy and review!

Preface: Fate's Murderer

(Edward's perspective)

Just when I thought my life was too good to be true; it was. Just when I thought Bella and I might truly be together forever; I thought wrong. Just when I finally opened my heart to the light; the shadows arrived.

She was my midnight sun no more. Bella, my sun, my joy, my happiness, was fading. Fading slowly but surely into inevitable darkness. Into the end. Into death.

Bella was killing herself.

Bella was killing me.

Whoever said vampires feel no pain was a horrid lier. The pain I felt was more excruciatingly devestating than anything any human could ever dream of, worse than torture, worse than death.

But this excruciating pain was different than that of which I had gone through last year when I had left her. Then, I had wanted to give her a life, so I had sacrificed my feelings. I had done what I could to help her, to save her from myself.

This time I could do nothing. This time, while I wanted to give her life, all I could do was watch her die before my eyes. I was helpless, useless. I, a "perfect" vampire in Bella's mind, could not save her.

And even though I had always tried to give her life, I was now instead giving her death. I was the reason she was slipping away, little by little. I was killing her, just as fate had marked me to do so less than two years ago in that biology classroom. I was, though I had tried so desperately to change, a monster.

I was a murderer.


	2. However Far It Takes, I'll Go There

Disclaimer: Well, I don't own Twilight, but I do own Nasy Danney! (Don't ask…)

Notes: The story begins with Edward and Bella getting home from the honeymoon.

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Chapter One: Tsunami of Horror

_Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine._

I kept repeating those words over and over in my head, ignoring the thoughts chattering around me.

_Everything is going to be fine._

Bella and I got off the plane, my arm around her waist for support. Support not just for her, but for me. I needed to know she was with me, that I could protect her, that she was safe. She had been silent the entire flight, just sitting in my arms as I kissed her hair and wrists.

_Everything is going to be fine._

The Port Angeles airport wasn't crowded. A few passengers stayed on the plane to take the next flight bound for Seattle, but most got off along with us. Bella and I made our way into the terminal and walked toward the exit; we were planning on meeting my family at home.

_Everything is going to be fine._

_It had to be…right?_

And then, from out of nowhere, Rosalie appeared, running at human speed toward us. I hadn't been paying attention to the thoughts around me, otherwise I would have heard her coming, so I was understandably confused as to why my sister had decided to come meet us here. It wasn't like she cared about Bella's health…although there was really nothing to worry about, because she was going to be alright.

_Everything is going to be fine._

Quickly, I scanned Rosalie's thought's for the reason for her sudden appearance.

No.

_No._

_NO!_

_Everything is not going to be fine._

"No," I growled through my clenched teeth. Rosalie was _not_ about to try to convince Bella to keep the baby; not if I could help it.

"No!" I said again.

"Edward, calm down honey," Bella whispered soothingly. "It's alright."

_But it isn't._

"Rosalie, you are not going to convince Bella to keep the baby, I won't let you. No," I repeated.

"Edward, you don't understand," my vain sister said.

What didn't I understand?! That my evil sister was about to try to kill me wife in order to get a free baby?! How hard was that to understand, knowing Rose?! Nevertheless, I listened to her thoughts once again.

She was right. I hadn't understood. It was not Rosalie that wanted Bella to keep the baby.

It was Bella.

_Everything is not going to be fine._

The shock crashed down on me like a wave, a tsunami. A tsunami or horror, or utter disbelief, threatening to crush the life, for lack of a better word, from me. This was exactly the thing Bella would do; give up her life for something not worth it. And nothing was worth her life. Nothing.

I had to stop this.

I would stop this.

But what if I couldn't? What if it was impossible to change her mind? What would I do? How far would I go to save her?

The answer to that question was simple:

However far it took.


	3. Nowhere To Turn, Nowhere To Hide

Disclaimer- Well, no, I don't own twilight…I'll admit it, I don't have any major issues with that…well, maybe a few…

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Chapter Two: Nowhere To Turn, Nowhere To Hide

"Bella, please don't do this," I whispered to Bella a second after I figured out what was going on. "That baby could kill you. It will kill you, if we don't get it out. Don't be difficult."

_She's not going to change her mind, stop pressuring her, _Rosalie thought coldly. We were still standing across from the airport exit, and people were glancing in our direction curiously. I didn't pay them any thought, nor did I Rose, I was waiting for Bella to speak.

"Edward, I can't kill my own baby!" she said quietly, "I already feel like I know it, I love it. I know I can live through this, it's not going to kill me."

I stood there, unable to say anything. Finally, my wits came back to me.

"We're discussing this at home," I said shortly, an added in an undertone so low only Rose could hear, "I'm not letting you do this, you can't kill her just to win a baby, I won't let you."

Her smirk vanished as we walked out the exit and toward her red convertible.

_I'm not doing this for the baby, _she thought, _I am doing this because Bella has finally made a choice I would have made if I were in her shoes, and I'm going to help her._

"Oh, really? The chance at a baby has nothing to do with it?" I growled, again too low for Bella to hear as she stumbled along with my beside me.

_You would know, _Rosalie thought bitterly, _I'm not going to lie that the baby doesn't matter to me._

I growled.

_You can't force her, _Rose continued, ignoring my response, _You couldn't do that._

I gave her "the look" as we got into the car. I helped Bella into the backseat and got in next to her, while Rosalie started the engine and drove out of the parking lot.

_You couldn't, _she thought again, though shock and disbelief flashed across her face for the first time.

Rose continued arguing in her head, but I ignored her. Bella had fallen asleep against me, and I stroked her hair to calm myself. We arrived at the house in less than half an hour, speeding into the garage. My head was full of other's thoughts.

_Oh, look who's back with trouble,_ Emmet's thoughts hit me loudest, and I almost laughed.

_Hay bro, welcome home, _Jasper thought kindly…I'd always liked that guy.

_Eddie! You're home! Yah! Is Bella ok? What are you going to do? Oh Eddie, this isn't going to be good, I can see that, _Alice's crazy thoughts ran wild as she hurled herself into the garage and gave Bella and I a hug.

_Edward, we need to talk, now, _Carlisle came in behind Alice, a slight frown on his face.

_It's so good to see you, honey, _Esme smiled gently from behind my "father."

"Bella! You're back! How was the honeymoon?! Did you like all the cloths I sent with you?" Alice asked excitedly.

"Ugh, remind me never to let you handle my wardrobe again," Bella moaned, but she grinned.

"Can we get on with this and have our little meeting? Jazz and I were going to go hunt," Emmet said, sticking his head around the doorway.

"What meeting?" I asked quickly.

"Well, Edward, we need to talk…now," Carlisle said slowly, and then thought, _This isn't going to be easy, Rose has made sure of that._

I growled softly and motioned for everyone to move back into the house.

"Come on love, it's going to be fine," I murmured in Bella's ear.

"I know everything is okay; you're overreacting," she whispered back.

"We'll see about that," I said back, as we settled at the dining room table. Alice had nicknamed that table as the "Uh oh, we have trouble" table. I hoped she was wrong, yet I knew she wasn't.

Carlisle sat at the head of the table, with Esme on his left and myself on his right. Bella was next to me, and Rosalie sat quickly next to her.

"We'll figure this out. The baby is going to be safe, don't worry," my vile sister whispered in Bella's ear. I couldn't stand this. I banged my fist on the table, with just under the force it would have taken to smash it in two.

_This isn't going to be pretty, dude,_ Emmet thought as he sat down next to Rose, across from Carlisle. _Rose is set on keeping the baby, and she's convinced Esme, and I'm not siding against my own wife._

"WHAT?!" I roared, nearly standing out of my chair in anger, "YOU'RE AGAINST ME TOO!?"

"Calm down. Your making me crazy with all your anger," Jasper walked into the room and took a seat across from me, followed by Alice who sat across from Bella. I heard Jasper cuss and pass a wad of cash to Emmet…seriously, he had bet I wouldn't have reacted like that?!

"You can tell me to calm down when I know Bella's not going to kill herself trying to save our baby!" I growled fiercely, tightening my arm around Bella's waist. "What am I even saying?! We don't even have a baby!"

"Yes, we do," Bella said quietly, "And we aren't going to end it's life. I can't murder my own child."

"Edward, please do calm down," Esme said, after glancing nervously at Carlisle. "I'm sure we can settle this in a more civilized manner."

"Perhaps---" Carlisle began, but I read his thoughts and cut him off.

"YOU TOO!? I thought you, at least, would understand the danger of a human caring a vampire fetus." I said angrily. Jasper moaned, but I had just scanned my father's thoughts and found something new.

"WHAT?! You think we should just play it by ear?! Just let the thing kill her slowly and see what happens?"

"Edward, I never thought nor said that. I was just thinking that we could always let Bella keep the baby, and if something went wrong, then we could take it out. It would be letting Bella have what she wants, but also keeping her safe." Carlisle said slowly.

"I'd be fine with that," Bella said, "I am strong enough to handle my own baby. I can do it, I know I can."

"That's the spirit," I gritted my teeth; Rose was a murderer disguised as a cheerleader. "And went it comes time to deliver the baby, if you are not doing well, we can save you by changing you into one of us."

Wow. My evil sister had just said we were going to make Bella into a vampire. She really didn't think Bella was going to make it that far. The thought brought raging fire into my mind, and I heard Jasper groan again.

"What if it's too late?" I asked, trying to keep my temper under check. "What if she gets so ill that it's too late to save her?"

"That won't happen," Alice piped in, "Half of us here were bitten and transformed when we were on the verge of death. It should be fine."

"Edward?" Esme asked cautiously, "Are we decided then? Will we go with that plan?"

"Bella?" I asked, "What do you want?" I already knew, but I wanted to make sure. I was not going to rely on Rosalie's mind to know what Bella wanted.

"I want our baby," Bella said, "That's all I want. I want to have you and our baby."

"Fine. We'll keep the baby for now," I said, defeated for the present time. Hearing my love say those words had dissolved all thoughts of forcing her to not keep the baby. I could not do something she didn't was against just to try to help her. I had learned that lesson last year.

"For now," I repeated, and I stood up to leave with Bella. I had to leave, I had to escape this terrible situation for just a few moments. Then it hit me.

This was inescapable.

There was nowhere to turn, nowhere to hide.

All that was left to do was fight.

And I was going to fight if necessary, that much was certain.


	4. Author's Note! Yippi!

Time for an author's note!

Hey guys, sorry its been a while since I've updated chapters! I've had late exams this week, so it's been kind of crazy. I'll make sure to update by this weekend, and in the meantime you can read my other stories co-written with a friend; the username is "way 2 HP obsessed". Feel free to give any suggestions or requests for any stories in your reviews! Thanks,

Sydsters


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